|Posted on 5 July, 2021 at 14:15|
There are so many levels to cuckholding.
During a cam session I usually list these levels to gauge two main aspects. One is how involved a guy wants to be in the whole scene, as well as his true desire and intention behind wanting to explore cuckholding.
General levels are:
· Knowing she (wife/gf) is with other guys, but not sharing any details
· She is with others and tell you all the details after she comes home
· She is with others and lets you touch or even taste after
· She is with others while you are home but in a different room
· She is with others while you are in the room-either getting to touch or not
· You get to prep her or him (usually oral performed on them) then watch them together
· You get to watch them then perform oral on one of both of them in a clean-up type action
· Be actively involved while they are playing together-often licking pussy or balls while they fuck, could be stimulating either of their assholes, etc.
· Could be more actively involved with his cock-usually being fucked during or after he fucks her
Depending on what level the guy is interested in speaks to the underlying reason for his interest in cuckholding overall. There is usually one of two underlying reasons behind a desire for cuckholding. The first is that he wants to prioritize his partners pleasure, the second is because he wants to play with a cock. He may want to prioritize his partners pleasure because she is his priority, or because he is inadequate in some way-could be premature ejaculation, or penis size etc. The most common reason that men are interested in cuckholding is because he wants to have exposure and experience with another cock and feels he needs his partner there “to make it ok”. In this case his partners pleasure is often of little or no interest to him.
When a guy is focused on her pleasure it is a sweet and beautiful thing. This usually comes from one of two sources.
1) There is a power dynamic aspect to their relationship. She is a Top, Domme, or the commander in the relationship, and he has an aspect of servitude in how they interact. He most likely defaults to her in many areas of their life. Or, he is always in charge in life, work, relationships, but gives it all up in their sexual relationships. His prioritizing her pleasure in itself gives him pleasure and a level of satisfaction.
2) He has some level of inadequacy in his life or sexual ability. This could be from a lack of general confidence, could be a lack of sexual skill or experience, he could have a problem with premature ejaculation, a smaller than desired penis.** Accepting that he has an inadequacy, and therefore prioritizing their partners pleasure over his own is a beautiful thing.
When a guy is focused on his involvement with another cock it can be a very different experience for all involved. This is usually that he simply feels the need to have a trusted partner/woman with him in order to accept his desire to play with another cock.*** It can be that he wants to explore with the support of his partner or share the experience together. In this case the focus is not specifically on her pleasure but on his experience.
Successful and/or long-term cuckholding relationship involve a lot of communication, respect and understanding. There are so many ways to have assumptions and misunderstandings get in the way. Clear communication about intentions and expectations can ensure that all involved have a wonderful time before, during and after play time. This also leads to discussing how you find a third to join your relationship whether for a single session or an ongoing situation.
Regardless of the underlying reason for the interest in cuckholding the partners have to be able to be honest and clear with each other. A couple needs to establish some ground rules on their expectations, and most importantly limits on the activities of the scene. While no one can fully script how a play session will go they do need to be able to agree and then communicate with their third as what is ok and what is not ok. Partners need to be confident in speaking up and establishing the rules. Once these rules are established it is time to find a person to join.
Some people want to have someone that they know and are already friends with since there is already a connection and possibly chemistry which can make everyone comfortable. Others prefer a complete stranger that is only in their lives for this aspect (single session or ongoing). While it is super easy to find horny men who want to have sex in a variety of ways, the challenge can be to find one that is capable of understanding the dynamic, the rules and the expectations. This can be a frustrating and challenging process to work through to find the right match. Often hiring a professional (male sex worker) is a good idea because there is a level of professionalism and often experience. There is so much communication needed prior to the play session, but there is often just as much needed afterwards. Right after, all three can discuss what they liked, what they would alter, what they hated. The three-way conversation is usually needed if the goal is a repeat play session, less if it was a one-time thing. The couple certainly needs to discuss in detail how they enjoyed the session, what they would change and what they didn’t want to do again. So often fantasies can be really challenging to bring into a reality, and this can lead to a high level of disappointment if it doesn’t play out as expected. Whether a one-time thing or an ongoing power dynamic the relationship will change and grow through new experiences.
**Penis size has absolutely nothing to do with the ability to pleasure a partner. Small penises can be amazing and large ones can be absolutely useless.
***There are so many layers of stigma and internalized homophobia in our society and this is a huge example. Men feel like they need a woman around in order to play with another cock.
|Posted on 20 June, 2021 at 15:05|
I have done years of fetish play, I have played with many “common” and many “unique” fetishes. One of my absolute favourite sessions ever, was fairly early on in my cam days I had a guy request that I wear a cardigan style sweater while blowing my nose. He requested the louder the better!!
I thought about my wardrobe, I had a number of pullover style sweaters, hoodies, some really light weight little jackets I wear over dresses or tank tops, and then I realized I had the perfect one!! It was actually knit for me by a family member many, many years ago. It is bright pink with a huge cowl neck. When I put it on, he was absolutely thrilled. He loved how I could pull down into the sweater, wrap it up high around me. That sweater and a box of tissues and we were off on an adventure of fetish fun.
I tickled my nose a bit trying to work up a real sneeze, that wasn’t working, so I faked a few little sneezes. He said they were ok, then asked to focus on the nose blowing part of it more than the sneezing parts. I have never been a noisy nose blower, so I started with my normal, delicate little blows and cleared my nostrils out pretty quickly. Then I started having some real fun with it. Pushing the air harder, trying to get some real noises. I realized that by blowing through just one nostril I was just passing air with not much noise, BUT if I wiggled the tissue back and forth between the nostrils while blowing, I got a great honk going. He loved it!!
I am pretty sure that I surprised myself with the first few big honks. I had certainly never made noises like that before! I got into a bit of a rhythm between honking and wiping, all while holding the neck of my sweater up and tight around me. It was so much fun as he was giving big glowing feedback like ‘OMG, that’s amazing!” “you are so sexy” “oh god yes so loud!!” “oh can you do that again?” “this is so amazing” “Oh my god, I love it so much!!” He loved it so much he came 2x (something that was not all that common for him)
While he wasn’t a regular, he was quite certainly memorable. Anytime someone would ask about the most unique fetishes I get in my work, he would always be one of the ones that came to mind instantly. I was so happy when he came back after 4+ years and I knew his name immediately. I love my regulars and the play I get to do over and over but unique fetishes are really where my passions lie.
I asked him if he would be willing to share a bit about the history of his fetish as I wanted to understand how he first realized it, how it developed and everything he knew and would share about it. Thankfully he is quite self-aware and confident in his unique fetish. He sent me a little run down on the history of when he really discovered and understood his interests.
He says he had 2 ladies inspire his interests. One was an afterschool teacher and one was a neighbour lady who used to babysit him. The neighbour lady was older, in her mid 50’s with long curly black hair. She was short and curvy and often wore a cardigan sweater. She would take care of him when his parents were away. Sometimes they would play around and pretend they were sick. They would wrap up tight in her cardigans (which was quite oversized on him) and pretend to sneeze. It would make him laugh a lot. Then they would pretend to be sick and blow their nose as loud as they could. They would laugh and have fun. One time she sneezed for real and it was ENORMOUS. This loud, violent sounding EEEYAAAAAAASSHHHHOOOOOOO. Scared and aroused him at the same time.
The other inspiration was a lady who took care of him after school. She was younger, in her early 20’s. She had short black hair and always wore a long, cream coloured, cable knit sweater. She reminded him of snow white in a sweater. She was gorgeous and he was entranced by her. She was quite strict and he loved that about her. She used to blow her nose really loud. One time she caught him staring at her while she was blowing her nose and she got really upset with him. She gave him a time out and asked him why he was staring at her and what he was doing. She was really upset with him and he was stuttering trying to figure out how to explain what he didn’t really understand at that age. He finally broke down and told her that it was because he thought she was so pretty. He was practically in tears as he apologized. She hugged him and said it was sweet what he said, but that staring was rude. From then on he could practically get away with murder as the teachers pet.
These incidents cemented his love. He has clearly taken the time to think on it and understand what brought his rather unique fetish to life. I am thankful he was able to put some thought into it as I had been so curious about it for so long. When talking to friends about his fetish specifically we had guessed at the why and how behind the fetish, we joked about him being at thanksgiving dinner with granny in a sweater blowing her nose and him popping a boner.
So many fetishes are quite obvious and easy to figure out when you dig back to a persons formative years either sexual or in general. This was a special and unique one that will stick with me all of my years.
|Posted on 6 June, 2021 at 15:50|
Exploring your bi curiosities
The number of men who desire sexual experiences with other men is much higher than you could possibly imagine. I get so many guys who come to me as a safe place to explore their curiosities and desires that aren’t as accepted in our/their societies. They understand on some level that sexuality is fluid, that a sexual experience doesn’t define someone’s sexuality, even if they cannot put words to it. There is such an incredibly high level of stigma against the idea of men being gay as the worst possible thing they could imagine. Curiosity is natural in humans, especially when it comes to sexuality.
Let me say this very clearly SUCKING COCK DOESN’T MAKE YOU GAY, HAVING A SEXUAL EXPERIENCE WITH A MAN DOESN’T MAKE YOU GAY. These are experiences that can come and go without affecting your actual sexual identity.
There are often levels of people exploring their curiosities. They range from a role play where they have another man join in fucking their wife or girlfriend right up to wanting to place an ad for a free for all in hotel room with men coming and going using the guy and all his holes. There are as many fantasies as there are men in the world, while most follow a few common themes they are all specific to that man’s desires. Most of these desires are bred from various movies or porn scenes they have seen. The feeling that watching these scenes brought high arousal doesn’t always match the experience. This can be why many men have tried at some point in their life then given up on in person fun and relegated themselves to a life of jerking off, or roleplaying whether with a partner or a professional. They took the leap to have this fantasy become reality and when it didn’t go as planned, or didn’t provide them with the same feelings the porn scene did, they gave up. I often work with men who want to try again but are scared.
The role plays are a wonderful and safe place to discuss these details and weave a colourful and satisfying experience before taking the step to actually meeting and hooking up with men. The fantasies can be powerful and I want to create a very sexy space that feeds that fantasy while also discussing the reality of an actual hook up. So we explore the details of what it would be like to touch a man’s skin, to taste it, to feel the stubble of a face when kissing, the texture of a hard penis, etc. We can work into a very detailed scenario spinning your specific fantasies into an almost real experience. Another part we discuss is how it would affect their lives if they were outed or their lives were affected by these experiences. This could be guilt from hiding a part of yourself from your partner or family, it could be friends mocking or humiliating you, it could be the potential for change to your career. We want to be sure to be real about these things and discuss pros and cons without just doing things because your dick is hard.
It’s always fun when guys have decided they are ready to meet other men and explore these fantasies in person. They choose a website or an app that they want to use, they often ask for help in writing a profile that will explain what they are searching for-I help them write and explain that 95% of guys don’t read profiles so it really doesn’t matter what they write. Every single guy that has started the process of meeting an in person partner has come back to me to say some variation of “holy fuck, men are terrible!! They don’t read profiles, they don’t listen when I speak, they are rude, and demanding and terrible” I laugh and laugh and they often apologize for their gender and how much worse it must be for women who are on dating sites. I share some stories and we bond over it. Once they have understood that this is common and not specific to them we can work towards finding a good fit. I remind them that having some set rules/guidelines/boundaries are a good idea. This could mean not meeting the first day they chat, meeting for coffee/drink/somewhere public before hooking up, etc. Whatever it might take for them to feel comfortable and safe. They realize it is a very different experience to meet a guy to hook up with than it is to meet a woman.
Of course there are the indepth conversations around safety including; how to discuss STI testing, safe sex practices, consent, expectations around privacy, being open about being in a straight relationship, communication methods, frequency of communication etc. For many men who are looking to explore this world of bi curiosities they are not looking at it the same as dating and this needs to be clear. This can seem like a lot of work, but trust me it is always worth it and if it’s important to you to be able to have these conversations, you should find a partner who is willing to have them. Your needs are more than how you are going to orgasm and sadly we often don’t become aware of our boundaries until they have been crossed.
So sit down and treat it like a cross over between a first date and a job interview. Know your expectations (as much as you can without having had experiences), know your limits (I often play a big part in helping guys discover these), and be confident that you have the right to have your needs and boundaries respected.
If you are someone who is looking to explore these interests either in a roleplay fantasy or real conversation about making it happen in your life feel free to contact me [email protected] we can set up a text or cam session to help you feel comfortable and bring these curiosities to life!
|Posted on 20 May, 2021 at 19:40|
Phone sex operators
Whatever title we give ourselves
We are people
We are humans
We have emotions
We have limits
We have rights
We deserve respect
We deserve love
We deserve life
This seems like something that should be damn clear and easy enough to understand. However if you ask anyone in the sex work industry they will ALL have stories about how everyone from family/friends/partners to the media to clients have treated them as less than. Told they are not the priority, their pleasure is irrelevant, their need to feel safe is a joke, they are disposable. This comes in the form of dead hooker jokes, guys refusing to provide screening information-claiming their need for privacy trumps a providers need for safety, media showing sex workers as all being broken shells of humans who have no other choices while being riddled with drug problems.
Movies and TV have, for many years, portrayed sex workers under a limited variety of tropes. They are damaged, they cannot love, they have daddy issues, they have drug problems, they are single moms, they are stupid, they cannot do anything else, they are failures, this is the last option, they are selling their bodies, they are controlled by men, they don’t choose this work, it’s a last option. These portrayals have molded our minds and beliefs for decades, making it almost impossible for people to believe that anyone could or would choose to be a sex worker. They believe sex workers are forced into this work against their will, that they all want to escape or be rescued. This is where the news outlets mixed with Hollywood's portrayal makes it even more damaging and dangerous to those who do choose this work.
The media works very hard to convince the world that all sex workers are victims of sex trafficking and need to be rescued. We see this in their influence in politics to bring in the nordic model (legal to sell sexual experiences, illegal to buy), in sex work being illegal fully and completely, in passing laws and restrictions to make it almost impossible for workers to be safe or get paid. Examples of this are banks closing accounts of those who are paid from known adult content sources, being denied insurance and housing, affecting custody battles for families, payment processors refusing to accept major credit cards for payments involving sexual content or acts.
This loss of autonomy is incredibly dangerous. Any time a person or group of people decide they know what is best for another group of people and refuse to listen to their stories and experiences they are taking away the autonomy of that group. For example, Visa and Mastercard are heavily influenced by exit based anti sex work groups (usually claiming to be highly religious and working for the good of the people they are hurting), and are convinced they are part of horrible sex trafficking of victims. Visa and Mastercard then stop allowing websites to receive payments for adult content or specific types of content (major lists of kinks and fetishes that are denied are added to on a regular basis). This doesn’t stop sex workers from working or creating content, it just makes it that much more difficult for them to receive payment for the work they have completed.
Laws like The Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act (SESTA) and Allow States and Victims to Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act (FOSTA) are the U.S. Senate and House bills that became law on April 11, 2018. ** These laws say were signed into place under the guise that by shutting down websites, stopping sex workers from having forums to discuss dangerous clients, share safety facts and business secrets etc. they would be able to stop sex trafficking. Many sex worker groups spoke to the danger of these laws coming into place stating that they would infact make it more dangerous for authorities to stop actual trafficking, as well as make it more dangerous for sex workers to be safe. They were ignored, the laws were passed and within the first year law enforcement groups were complaining about how much harder it was to track trafficking.
Who do you think knows more about plumbing? Someone who does plumbing on a regular basis, has training and experience, or someone’s cousin who watches a dozen YouTube videos? Who would you trust to redo the plumbing in your kitchen? Probably the professional right? You understand that you pay a professional to complete the task that cannot be done by the average person. Yet the media/politicians/Hollywood often refuse to speak to those who are doing the actual work, living the life and have the valid experiences to tell the stories. They do this simply because it doesn’t fit the narrative that they want to present. How can they feel good about the work they are doing to “save the needy whores” if they refuse to actually hear their stories.
I often get clients who say things like “If I pay, is to be treated as I want. I'm not paying a prostitute to satisfy herself. Be aware of where you work, dear.” <--this is an actual response from a client when I wouldn’t do exactly what he wanted, how he wanted on webcam, even though what he wanted was to watch me orgasm and when I told him I could either play to the point of orgasm OR follow his directions on how to touch myself he left then sent me this. Many people will read this and say well, the customer is always right, or he is just voicing his frustration. I read this and see a thinly veiled threat mixed with being told I am less than, with a healthy dose of condescension. It’s these types of comments and responses that cause many sex workers to live in a constant state of fear. That fear could be physical harm, could be being threatened, spoken to as a less than person, could be being doxxed/outed to people who aren’t aware of their work etc. We constantly see men go from throwing compliments about how amazing we are and how badly they want to be with us to telling us we are ugly/fat or they want to harm us in literally seconds when they don’t get what they want. I have many screenshots of these flips. This level of entitlement to us and our bodies regardless of what we want is exactly my point.
We are people, we have rights, we have desires, and they deserve to be respected as much as anyone else!
A great write up about SESTA/FOSTA from Sex Workers https://hackinghustling.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/HackingHustling-Erased.pdf
|Posted on 5 May, 2021 at 11:15|
How did you end up here
Are you single
Where do you live
Why do you do this work
Would you like me to marry you and take you away from this
What do you weigh
How old are you
How big is your x (bra size/ass/pubic hair/etc)
Do you have kids
What is your worst cam session
What is your worst sw experience
What do you like
What can you do for me
Sex work is this interesting crossroads of so many parts of life. We are professionals, we supply a service, a service most people have access to/desire for in their day to day life outside of professional hirings. This “thing” that is totally acceptable to exchange between people with no money involved, suddenly becomes strange and less acceptable when money is added. With significantly different laws surrounding the exchange between sex worker and the client, it can make the transaction even more confusing with layers of concerns. The way we navigate these transactions can take time and learning, not to mention, every sex worker has different requirements when booking.
With all these layers, confusions, and uncertainties through the legal, stigma and diversity of communication we see a lot of it in how people approach sex workers. Let’s talk about the inappropriate questions frequently received and why they should be avoided.
All sex workers
How did you end up here?
As fun as it is to explain it as being a bit of a joke with “well, I got up off my couch and walked down the hall to this room, turned on my computer…” We know you mean how did you “end up” as a sex worker. This is a really personal question that usually has many layers behind it. It is often fueled by the social idea that sex workers are doing this work as a last result, because they cannot do anything else, or are damaged in some way. This is a good time for you to look inward at your current biases and work on them instead of projecting them on the models.
Why are you a sex worker?
Why does anyone do the job they do? Probably to pay their bills and provide money to live their lives. To have fun in a field they are good at, to learn new skills, to have fun experiences. This is the same for sex workers as it is for everyone.
Would you like me to marry you and take you away from this?
No. Unless I tell you that I want to leave this work and get married, No.
What is your worst experience in sex work?
No, in no way is this ever going to get a good response from a sex worker. Would you ask your friend to relive a terrible situation in their life just to feed your curiosity? Would you ask the details of a mugging? Assault? Etc? If you answer yes to this then you need to change how you talk to your friends and stop asking them to relive terrible experiences for your entertainment.
How old are you? How much do you weigh?
These are generally not necessary answers outside of being fetishized. If a sex worker is doing fetish play that involves age or weight then great, outside of that these details don’t apply.
How big is your “x”? (Ass/tits/pussy hair/etc)
Breaking someone down into simply measurements and parts is quite fetishizing. You can enjoy a specific body part as a part of someone and their whole package. Sex workers are bombarded by compliments about specific body parts, they are appreciated but become a bit repetitive and don’t pay the bills. Compliments about who a person is-personality etc are much more powerful.
Online sex workers
Where do you live?
I am asked this questions multiple times per day, I understand it seems like a basic question, a bit of small talk and common in the rest of our world. However, it can be a dangerous question to a sex worker when we live in a world of worrying about clients falling in love with us, becoming stalkers, wanting to out/doxx us to our personal lives, or even physically harm us. For online workers, you don’t need anything further than a country, or a time zone to be able to ensure same time on line.
Are you single?
Again this seems like a simple basic question, but it really is irrelevant. We are working together to create this wonderful, fantasy experience that fulfills your needs in that moment. This is not dating, we are not getting to know each other, we are not moving forward from cam site to real life. This is the harsh reality a lot of guys don’t want to think about, it “kills” the fantasy for them. They want to hear you are always available and the possibility is always there. In reality, my personal relationships have absolutely nothing to do with our fantasy relationship. This goes both ways towards you fantasizing about me being single, or you fetishizing my relationships in a cuck, sub or curiousity way. Clients need to understand that you have access to us as our work selves (regardless of how close a models personal life is to their work life) in the way we choose to share and you don’t have access or need to have access to anything further than that.
Do you have kids?
This is always inappropriate, even if your fetish is stretchmarks, impregnation, lactation, cuckholding, etc. Same as above, this pries into the personal part of a models life that may or may not be presented to you. If a model chooses to share, or talk about her pregnancy or family that is up to them, but it’s not right to ask.
What is your worst experience on cam?
Ok, this one blows my mind. I understand you are fascinated by my job, the fun/crazy/unique requests that you could never imagine being arousing etc. HOWEVER!, in what world do you think I want to relive my worst experience with you, in a public space, where others can come in and out when they are searching for their fantasy. If it is my worst experience, that means it’s not a good thing, I want to leave it where it was. Ask about most unique, ask about funniest, ask about what one I enjoyed the most, etc. Then I can choose if it is appropriate to share or not.
|Posted on 5 April, 2021 at 8:05|
Intro to Domme
A light introduction to some popular BDSM activities, deep dives into each of these will follow!
First things are understanding this could change your day to day relationship in addition to bedroom (or whatever room you play in) time. Being a Domme is not just ordering someone around and being a bitch, it is a serious responsibility that takes a lot of work to ensure needs are met and everyone is enjoying.
Important to know that all needs are met, this can be physiological, emotional, mental. Open communication is very important and regular check-ins are a good idea as you find your flow of things. Until the power exchange becomes a natural flow in your relationship it is smart to start with set scene times. So choose times you want to play, discuss what type of activities you would like to try or work on in that scene time. Focus on one activity at a time until it becomes natural and then begin to add others in a more complex means. After a scene it is important to debrief. Discuss what you each felt went well and what didn’t go well, how it could be better, if you want to do that activity again, etc. we will discuss after care in a bit, it is as important if not more than the safety focus during a scene.
Titles to call each other in scene are very useful-these can be traditional like Domme/Mistress/Goddess/Madam or sub/slave/pet/toy. Or could be complete alter ego names. It can depend on how much of the scene is acting a role and how much is your true reality. You will determine what feels natural to you and what is comfortable for both.
Safety is so important. This includes takeing care of the physical body along with respecting mental/emotional limits. Absolutely no assumptions can be made. This includes assumptions about how the sub is feeling or how you think they should feel or react to something that happens. There are different safety aspects to different activities. Safe words should always be used and available for both parties. You can choose your own safe words, or use traditional colours. Many people use Red, Yellow, and Green. Green is all good and keep going. Yellow is it’s ok but don’t go harder/longer/tighter (depending on the activity). Red is stop immediately no questions asked. If you wish to use your own words be sure both parties fully understand the context in which they will be used. The sub should be comfortable enough to be able to say if something is going too far and not push themselves because they think they should or it will please their Domme. The Domme should be checking in regularly during activities by simply asking “colour” and the sub respond honestly. Anytime a red is used it should be discussed in an after scene debrief so both parties understand what happened and how to avoid this situation in the future.
Aftercare is incredibly important, specifically for the sub. The sub usually experiences an intense endorphin rush while in scene which is followed by something often referred to as ‘sub drop’ once the scene is over. Depending on the intensity of the activities and how deeply in the zone the sub is will determine the level of drop. This is often equated to giving blood in the effect it has on the body. Similar treatment is recommended which includes lots of fluids, protein, natural sugars, quiet time, and rest. Immediately following a scene it is wise to have a blanket available to stay warm and to drink some natural fruit juice. This should be followed by a quiet restful time either alone or with the Domme depending what the sub desires (if the desire is alone the Domme should not go far, and should check in every 20 min for the next hour) This period can often be a wonderful intimate time of quiet, gentle touching. However long the sub needs, could be 5 min could be an hour, should be honoured as well as the Domme taking the time they need to come back to themselves. Large amounts of water should be consumed as well as some form of protein so your body can balance out from the endorphin rush. Once you are feeling steady, (don’t try to stand too fast and walk as you may fall over, DO NOT try to be tough) you should get some water and sit somewhere comfy and debrief. Discuss what you loved, what you didn’t, what you would change etc. take notes if need be.
Safety during smothering/facesitting/trampling is mainly around being able to breath and being aware of pressure points on the face as well as not breaking the nose. It is good to start with soft body parts like breasts or belly, get used to the feeling pushing against the face, getting a count for how long your sub can hold their breath comfortably and how far you can push past that comfort. Once you are comfy with the feeling and your sub understands that even if you push past their comfort you will not cause harm to them, you can move onto face sitting.
Straddling the face is a good start, put one knee on the side of their head, thigh against their ear, the other foot on the other side. This gives you the control to raise and lower while you both get used to the sensations and timing available for breathing. Once this is good, you can lower the other leg to being on both knees. My preference is to face the head so his nose is either tucked just in my pussy lips or above. Depending on your build a hanging belly can be used to assist in smothering by leaning forward so the entire face is covered. Facing your subs feet can also be an option so his nose is tucking into your ass crack. This depends on what the taste/smell fetishes are and what you are both comfortable with. You must be able to lift yourself slightly or pull back belly/pussy lips to allow the sub to breath when necessary. There is a device called a pussy snorkel, I have no personal experience with it. Obviously in this situation the sub cannot use their safety word nor can they hear you check in with them as your thighs are clamped on their ears. I find a quick double tap works well on whatever body part of yours the sub can reach. This is important to keep in mind if combining restraints with smothering play. If the sub cannot reach a body part of yours they should be given some sort of bell or something that makes noise when shook. A quick homemade version could be a water bottle with rice or popcorn kernels in it that they can shake to indicate a need of breath. It can be fun to push limits and wait a second or two after they indicate. You can go up and down as many times as you are both enjoying. Perhaps take a few min break for deep breaths and check ins. Try different positions, get creative.
Safety focus during rope play and restaining is often on pulse points, ensuring you are not restraining tightly on joints, or major arteries. Regular checks on finger nail colour (blue or purple indicate a lack of blood flow and that restraints need to be loosened) as well as checking in with your sub on any tingling (fingers/toes falling asleep) as this also indicates improper blood flow. Two knotty boys is a great reference on different types of rope, safety, as well as designs. They have a website with downloads and physical books. They show basic right up to very complex and suspension play. Read the reviews on different size/type of rope as unfinished hemp vs cotton vs nylon will all feel and tie differently.
A good starting place for restraints is basic wrist and ankles as there are tons of sets available. My experience is velcro straps are useful as are full adjustable versus leather cuffs with buckles which are often a bit big or a bit small. A great set is one that will attach between mattress and boxspring as that offers good flexibility for positioning and activities as straps can slide freely.
This is a wonderful and simple activity. it is great for becoming comfortable with the power exchange in addition to a way for the sub to show his dedication to his Mistress/Goddess/Madam/whatever title you decide on. This can include anything from a dedicated massage, with focus on your relaxation as well as your sub exploring your body to learn your likes, hidden pleasure zones, etc. Be sure to communicate either with words or moans/sighs/etc to indicate this is good, you want more of this, or speaking up when something doesn’t feel good, be it too much pressure or not a pleasure zone. Basic massage classes are often offered at local colleges or a book on pressure points for feet are easily found. Perhaps have him focus on one general area or part to begin and master, then explore out. This can be incredibly intimate and a great low key connection point. There are many different massage oils available. They can come in liquids or creams or solids that warm up with body temperature. Light scents that please both people are important as well as knowing it the product is safely edible. Stick with natural products, no added sugar as this can irritate the skin, and cause yeast infections if used internally. Simple and quality would be coconut oil as is great for the skin, smells and tastes great and can have scented oil added if desired.
Other types of pampering could include manicure, pedicure, shaving or trimming body hair on each other (very intimate), other body worship could be extended oral all over the body or on a specific part.
|Posted on 17 July, 2019 at 14:45|
Hello Lovely Ladies!
I will be teaching a class on Monday July 29 6-9 pm
This one will be on doing webcam modelling. I have been a webcam model almost 5 years now, I have worked on a variety of sites.
I will be going over several different types of sites, how to make the most of social vs. per min payment sites. Games that can be played, ways to use the technology and details to be successful and have fun.
I will also discuss great ways of transporting regular clients to pay offsite-usually equaling higher payment % for you and cheaper rates for them!
Class will be held at my down town studio.
Class will be $120 per person (ask about discounts if you've taken my classes before) (Also if cost is an issue, reach out and we will see what we can arrange for payments/trade options)
Monday July 29 6-9 pm at my beltline studio (address sent post deposit)
Deposit of $50 to join, remainder paid at class.
Snacks/drinks provided. Max of 8 students so reach out to get your place
Deposits/contact to [email protected]
Looking forward to seeing you soon
|Posted on 15 June, 2019 at 15:20|
Contrast sensation play heightens the nerves and expands the sensations on the skin.
This will be a class with a live bottom that I will demo the sensual and fun world of contrast sensation play.
Think hot/cold, firm/light, scratchy/soft etc. We will demo great vanilla options into some slightly kinky stuff.
As soon as the body adjusts and begins to expect, we change it up to keep everything intense. Will teach the subtle things to watch for and ways of mixing sensations to heighten it all.
I will demo a variety of items, many of which are "pervertibles" as in bed bath beyond or home depot type finds that we pervert to our own use! Then you will have a chance to practice on my bottom and each other if desired.
These are skills that work beautifully into any type of session whether vanilla or kink.
Class will be $150 per person (ask about discounts if you've taken my classes before) (Also if cost is an issue, reach out and we will see what we can arrange for payments/trade options)
Monday June 24 6-9 pm at my beltline studio (address sent post deposit)
Deposit of $50 to join, remainder paid at class.
Snacks/drinks provided. Max of 8 students so reach out to get your place
Deposits/contact to [email protected]
Looking forward to seeing you soon
|Posted on 25 May, 2019 at 0:45|
I think the snow is finally gone for the year!
Spring brings so much joy and beauty. Time for new goals, growth and adventure! With this comes new options for fun with me. I am now offering companionship packages to enjoy my sensual beauty and pleasure. I have incredible, pin-up girl style curves that deserve to be touched, teased, and pleased. Have you fantasized about exploring full hips, natural body, curves all topped with a killer, seductive smile? Now is your chance. Check out my packages as well as intimate time rates on my services page Also I have a twitter account now dedicated to companionship options you can add me @emeliamorganyyc
In addition to the amazing opportunity for companionship I will be teach another class in early June. The Intro to Impact class was highly successful and I loved teaching! So the next class will be June 3 and will be about passive income.
Come learn how to earn during your down time with things like audio clips, video clips, photo sets, erotica etc. I will go over basics of a variety of sites and how they can work for you now and in the future. Class is 3 hours, $120 each and will include snack/drinks. Email [email protected] if you want to join.
Looking forward to the new adventures this spring is bringing!
|Posted on 3 May, 2019 at 0:10|
I will be starting to teach monthly classes at my incall on a variety of Domination topics.
I've been a Pro Domme off and on for almost 20 years. I have immense experience, and am incredibly safety minded.
I have spoken to some of you who are quite interested in learning and am looking forward to teaching the in depth skills that would be a great addition to your toolbox.
The set up would be 2-3 hour classes, with 4-6 students (depending on the skill).
Will be $100-$150 per person (depending on skill, possible sliding scale). Discounts avail for those who are booking into multiple classes.
There will be snack and beverages provided during/after.
There will be an intro, talk about past experience, the psychology of that kink, the safety surrounding that kink, safe words/after care, demo's on one of my bottoms, opportunity to practice on self/each other/bottom, debrief.
Some of the subjects I'll be covering over time will be:
-Impact play-Flogging/Paddling/Crops- From gentle to intense, mark leaving toys
-Edgeplay- Vampire gloves, knives, whartenberg wheel,
-Pervertibles-fun items bought from vanilla places that can be easily turned into fun kinky toys (bed, bath and beyond/home depot etc)
-CBT(cock ball torture) or Genitorture (for play with trans or female subs)
I have also been a mostly online/phone sex worker for 5 years and have a wonderful depth of info regarding cam sites/phone sex options/creating clips to sell on variety of sites. I am avail for one on one meetups to discuss how to get into these arenas.
I will be working on setting up some civilian classes as well on spicing up marriage etc but those need to be planned out.
So I will begin scheduling soon, I'll be advertising here but also taking names/emails to contact for future classes.
Let me know if you want to be added (DM here, twitter @sultrymissem)
I'll post dates shortly.