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Ideas to explore between Domme and sub


One of my favourite ways to control men from close by or far away is to own their orgasms, or rights to orgasm. This can happen in a variety of ways that fit every schedule and level of dedication to Me.

A) They must ask permission before every single orgasm they have, I will then say yes or no.

B) They are given a set number or orgasms that they are allowed in a time period (weekend/week/month).

C) They are given freedom or abstinence until further notice.

D) Tracking the number of orgasms to either stay below or go above a number depending on the goal we set. Some really love seeing comparisons between themselves and other chastity boys, or boys with full freedom, or mine (especially ones shared with lovers)

No matter which set up we have in place there are fees for breaking the rules and orgasming without permission.


Have the subs watch specific porn (great way to have them financially support friends of yours that are content creators by having them purchase from specific people).

They then have to write up reviews of the videos/clips-either just for your entertainment or to be shared with the content creators if they want them.

Put them to work on your content, writing captions of images, or detailed descriptions. Can be quite useful from his point of view if he is part of your target audience.

Have them write stories around images/gifs/short clips.

Have them do research on the history, or safety aspects of specific kinks/fetishes they see in the content they watch and present it to you.


As often as desired, have them pick a random card out of a standard deck of cards. There are websites that will allow them to do this and save the result for your verification, or draw from a deck and send a photo. Whatever card is picked, they then have to perform whatever activity is assigned with that card.


If the sub draws the 3 of hearts, the corresponding rules might be X number of ball smacks, or days in chastity, orgasms allowed, or hours without phone etc.

Just need to create a spreadsheet that matches the outcomes to each card, google docs/sheets is great for shared documents that can be updated or used as needed.

Could be punishments, tasks, or commands of any type.

The pull of sheer randomness is exciting / scary.

Could be specific face cards etc are specific type of punishment, maybe any drawn Queen means the harshest penalties.

Could be that regardless of suit a specific number means a specific task-this would mean coming up with 13 corresponding activities instead of 52, or colour/number combos means 26 vs. 52.

You could have set a time of day or day of week that cards are pulled, you could assign extra ones as punishments/rewards.

Perhaps they can also draw one whenever they want up to a set amount per week/month.

You can change out the tasks and punishments whenever you want. Ie: you could add a bunch of edging tasks over a certain period of time. Raise or lower the punishment vs reward amount etc.


Real time restraint is wonderful, fun and a great bonding session full of rush and trust. There are loads of ways to learn self restraint with ropes etc, these can be complicated and not always fully safe for quick release.

A fun way to work around this is to have the sub have to lock in a specific position for a set amount of time. They are on cam so you can see them clearly and check in on them as often as you want to. Ie. Laying on the bed face up, spread eagle until told otherwise, curled up in fetal position, covered in specific pieces of clothing to see if something moves etc.

There are then punishments for moving without permission, for speaking, etc.


When you aren’t comfortable with blackmail (for whatever reasons you have), but want to have that rush with your sub. They share little bits of personal info that you could then potentially hold over their head to give them that tingle of fear. Something that wouldn’t be good for them if it got out, but wouldn’t destroy life in any way or get either of you in serious trouble. This could be small bits of info like siblings names, some details about career, spouses, kids etc. I like keeping little notebooks or google doc files with these details. Notebooks are fun as I can then send photos of partial pages to remind them of the little rush they get from you knowing their secrets.


This can be done in general or ideas for the card pulling spreadsheet. As you learn the things that your sub loves and depends on in life, this is a great way to add a layer of control. Can be extra tormenting if they have to do it while others are around so it adds some pressure to come up with reasons or feel some humiliation.

Some examples could be

No furniture use

No TV or sports

No car (perhaps with certain layers of restrictions)

No clothing or certain types of clothing can or cannot be worn

Bathroom/food restrictions (not in an unsafe way)

Silent Treatment (Times when they are or are not allowed to communicate w you)

Date Descriptions-where they have to sit and listen to me describe what I do/have done with my lovers while they cannot touch themselves


There can be something incredibly erotic about having to stand or kneel in the corner while naked. This could be for set amounts of time, or while on cam to be checked on. I often use this as a start to a long cam show, puts someone in the right frame of mind for servitude and perhaps mild discomfort. Other ways to mix this up can be having to remain focused, possibly with porn on in the background that they want to watch but only get to hear, could be a recording of your voice, or you checking in while live streaming. Can add layers to this to include things like holding a pose such as standing on one leg, tree pose etc. could be reading, could be having multiple audios playing at once and they have to focus on one in particular and then tell you about it. Could be things like icy hot on head of their penis, holding an ice cube in their mouth or anus and letting it melt. Etc.

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