I got this question on cam from a guy who was confused and intrigued by me. First he came in and was full of compliments about my beauty. The intensity of my eyes, the mischievousness of my smile, the confidence I exuded. I prompted him to read my profile and tell me what kind of fun he was looking for as I do with all people who come into my work space. He was upset to realize I am a Domme as he felt we would clash heads in a bad way. I let him know he had 2 options: 1) I do offer vanilla/non power exchange play or 2) he could wish me a lovely day and move on to another model that might meet his needs. He was stuck on the fact that I am a Domme so I wished him a good day and he left.
He returned within minutes. I laughed, as this happens quite often and for a variety of reasons. Sometimes guys can’t handle being told no, or they don’t understand that a sex worker wouldn’t be willing to do anything and everything for money. Sometimes they return and realize they do want to play with me because I have boundaries and that makes me unique to them and they don’t want to miss what the experience could be with someone with so much strength of character. Sometimes they are just so drawn into my confidence and composure and they don’t really understand it. They know I won’t do the type of show they are used to or want to do, it’s not that they are here to push my boundaries (some are for sure!), they just can’t quite put their finger on what it is that draws me to them. They often ask, I give them one of those mischievous little grins and tell them I am just really, really good at what I do with an intense look. The fact is that I pour my soul into this work and the connection I create with someone through a webcam is very real and very intense.
He proceeded to come and go a few times over the next hour or so, it was a fairly steady day on cam so I was chatting with others while repeatedly asking him what he was there for. He decided instead of telling me directly he would email me through the site. This is what he sent
“Honestly I’m infatuated by the power you portray and enjoy seeing you weild it in a matter of fact way. I enjoy just watching you do it.”
I was in and out of other shows, many of them were Domination style shows so he was seeing me interact with high success leading into these shows. He went on to tell me he doesn’t freeload and will pay gold, which I had to remind him several times he hadn’t and I wasn’t a zoo animal here to be stared at. He sent a few bucks and after about the 6 or 7th time I asked what he was here for he asked me this
“Why so business mannered in a hospitality field of work”
I paused, thought about it, and responded.
This is my business and I don’t consider this a hospitality field of work. To me hospitality is service based, where it is my job to better your experience in whatever way I am supposed to, or am able to. The reality is, I am not here to serve you or anyone who comes into my work space. In fact most men, and a few women/NB folks, who come into my room and do shows with me are here to serve me, please me, and be honoured to hold my attention for a period of time while compensating me for it. There are many models who run their spaces as a hospitality field of work, that is how they do their job and it works for them. That is not me. My descriptions are clear that I am not submissive, Do not call me baby. My reviews talk about how amazing I am at Dominating, roleplaying, instructing others to achieve maximum pleasure in the experience we share. Your enjoyment will happen in my space, you will have an incredible time and most likely come back over and over as most do. However, I am not here to pander to your needs or provide service to you.
Unfortunately he didn’t respond to me, he sat in silence for many minutes and I asked him again what he was looking for with me today. Another number of silent minutes passed and I went into another show. He didn’t return, and I’m not sure if he will. He was intrigued, he was infatuated, yet we both knew he wasn’t going to get what he was ultimately looking for with me on the site, and wasn’t interested in paying enough (for what I would require) to just hang out.
I actually loved this question, it caused me to think about the idea and sometimes misconception of sex work in clients eyes. I say sometimes misconception because it depends on the sex worker, it depends on the client, it depends on expectations, desires, experiences etc. Another model may run their space and their business with the idea that they are very much providing a service, their focus may be to do all they can to ensure that the other person has the very best experience possible. They may feel great about that at the end of a shift, perhaps that’s a metric they gauge on for a good day at work, etc. As I said, that’s not how I look at it and that works for me. My way of running my cam room is not common, it is not what people often expect or want, it is intriguing, and it’s kept me happy as I head into my upcoming 7 year cammiversary this month.
The beauty of this industry is that everyone gets to do what works for them, say no to what doesn’t and find the boundaries that leave them feeling good at the end of the day.