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Bed of Roses

Recently I saw a post on twitter by @MistressKye asking about people’s favourite love songs of all time. Immediately Bon Jovi’s “Bed of Roses” popped into my mind. I didn’t spend time thinking about it, I just went with my gut. 


Yes, I’ve crushed hard on Bon Jovi for over 20 years, through many stages, many hair styles. I also have always had a thing for songs that you can feel the singers emotions in. There is an edge when they are feeling the words of the song as they sing them.This song has always felt like his most passionate. You can read a lot about the meanings behind songs and that he felt bad for cheating on his wife, Living the rockstar life when they were a new band, etc. Whatever the background of the song is, there is so much passion and raw emotion in the lyrics and the recordings.


When I sit back and think about it, what it is I love about the song specifically these are the thoughts that come to mind.


I am worthy

I am worthy of your praise

I am worthy of your suffering


I am that good 

That deserving


You will happily suffer to bring me joy




You know your place


You may fuck up but you will do everything you are capable of to make it up to me


You are aware of what life was like without me


The longing you felt

The incompleteness

The need for more


The passion

The desire

The need you feel to be close to me


You are well aware of the completion you felt when I entered your life


The feeling of complete fullness, the desires satisfied.


You may be human, you may fuck up, 


You know the simple pain of contrition is worth every agonizing moment if it will possibly bring you back to the rightful place of serving, desiring, loving me. 


Many of us in the kink community have spent time thinking back to our formative years and what we were exposed to that brought these parts of us to the surface. Was it an image? Album cover? Movie? Show? Song? 


There are some obvious kink factors of the song-sleep on a bed of nails, ironclad fist. However this isn’t what I think of when I think of how this song helped the formation of my identity in this world. The fact that he would give it up, suffer, put my pleasure as priority, etc. this is what I truly heard. The knowledge that I deserve to be and do live on a pedestal to many in life. You can say that’s all ego, but the fact is people sit in different places in our world. Some live in servitude, some live to be served. These roles in life may change and flow through life for some, for others they know from a young age where they stand and nothing/nobody is going to take that from them. 


So it is no surprise to me, or many in my life that I am a powerful, dominant woman who sets high expectations of those around me. As I said above, I am aware people are human, they will make mistakes-what they are willing to do to learn and grow from those mistakes is what determines if they stay in my orbit. 


This isn’t just in work either, the older I get, the more I accept my place and demand what I deserve. I see this in strangers, in coworkers, in friends, in clients, the desire to hold my attention. To be in my orbit and seek my focus for any moments I choose to give it to them. It seems to fill them somehow, to brighten them, to strengthen them. It’s quite amazing to see and experience. 


They would be just fine without me, they would live, survive and thrive. They don’t NEED me, but once they have sampled life with me, they cannot imagine it without again. There is a responsibility that goes with holding that level of control both towards friends and clients. To be aware of those connections and the good they can do or the lack they can cause. So it’s not just ego that is saying “I am amazing, you must do all I say or I’ll ignore you, you will shrivel and cease to exist in any good way without me”. It is understanding that these deep intimate connections are real and powerful. 


It’s why I have clients that still come and see me regularly that have been around since my first week on the cam site, it’s why it’s so rare to have a session with a client and not have him return frequently. They have experienced that fulfillment and they crave it again and again. They will budget, plan, and sacrifice simply to have my attention for that moment of time. 


Did you know you were missing it? That connection, that light, that moment of attention that fills your soul like nothing else can. It’s what is missing and it’s time for you to give into it. It’s time to feel all that you are missing.


Bon Jovi - Bed Of Roses [Lyrics]


“Sitting here wasted and wounded

With this old piano

Trying hard to capture

The moment this morning I don't know

'Cause a bottle of vodka

Still lodged in my head

And some blonde gave me nightmares

Think that she's still in my bed

As I dream about movies

They won't make of me when I'm dead


With an ironclad fist

I wake up and French kiss the morning

While some marching band keeps

Its own beat in my head

While we're talking

About all of the things that I long to believe

About love the truth and what you mean to me

And the truth is, baby you're all that I need


I wanna lay you down in a bed of roses

For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails

Oh, I wanna be just as close as the Holy Ghost is

And lay you down on a bed of roses


Well I'm so far away

Step that I takes on my way home

A king's ransom in dimes I give each night

To see through this payphone

Still I run out of time

Or it's hard to get through

'Til' the bird on the wire flies me back to you

I'll just close my eyes and whisper

Baby blind love is true


I wanna lay you down in a bed of roses

For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails

Oh, I wanna be just as close as the Holy Ghost is

And lay you down on a bed of roses


Well, this hotel bar's hangover whiskey's gone dry

The barkeeper's wig's crooked

And she's giving me the eye

I might have said yeah

But I laughed so hard I think I died, ooh yeah


Now as you close your eyes

Know I'll be thinking about you

While my mistress she calls me

To stand in her spotlight again

Tonight I won't be alone

But you know that don't mean I'm not lonely

I've got nothing to prove

For it's you that I'd die to defend


I wanna lay you down in a bed of roses

For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails

Oh, I wanna be just as close as the Holy Ghost is

And lay you down

I wanna lay you down in a bed of roses

For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails

I wanna be just as close as the Holy Ghost is

And lay you down

Bed of roses”

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