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Chosen Family

I have had a deep love of the Fast and Furious movies for over 20 years now. They provide entertainment, action, silliness, speed, beauty, and a deep understanding of the power of chosen family. From on screen to real life-including the death of Paul Walker during the filming of Furious 7, they showed how important people can be in your life regardless of blood relation. With a new release this has me thinking about how many areas of life that chosen family is important and shows itself.

Friends, queer, kink, coworkers, high stigma jobs, poly relationships etc.

There are 2 types of families in this world, the family you are born into and your chosen family. Chosen family can be people you have chosen, or people who have chosen you.

Some people have an amazing family they are born into. They have loving and supportive parents, perhaps they have siblings they grow up with, a handful of cousins for summer adventures and big holiday dinners. Could be an only child of an only child parent so a small group of family. People can have fully supportive families who meet their needs and still add chosen members that benefit their lives.

Chosen family can be for anyone, people who had shitty families or people who had great ones. These are the people that may start as friends but become so much more, these changes can happen quickly or can happen slowly over time. They are commonly referred to in Queer communities often because the families they were born into weren’t all that accepting so they choose the people they will treat like family. These people offer the support that is needed and missing from the family they are born into.

I am in a group chat on twitter of other cam models who work for the same site. We have had the chat since fall of 2020. I usually hate chat groups as they so often become places to bitch and complain, my phone buzzes constantly and it feels like work to keep up. I was determined to give it a shot for a while since this industry can be so isolating. I have amazing civilian friends who love and support me in my work, I have an awesome support system of local and online sex workers overall, but what I was missing was people who really understand the specifics of webcam modeling. How time is different on cam, how to interact with trolls, how to know if glitches are system wide or on my end, etc. I was pretty amazed at how fast these women became part of my chosen family. We have discussed family, childbirth, fears, successes, the good and bad of the sex work industry, the camming industry and our site specifically. The trust that grew in a group of 50+ women has been spectacular. We laugh, we cry, we share bad days from work, we offer tech advice, we bitch about stupid people and we raise up each other in celebration of every victory.

Whether you have an amazing family, or a terrible family you are born into, you always have the option of chosen family. These people fill out so many areas of life. Chosen family members are chosen because we don’t have to act a certain way around them. No need for a mask, just living as ourselves.

Take a moment and think of your chosen family. Are they 3D people you spend your spare time with? Are they online friends from any of your various identities? What movies/TV series do you see these connections in? Do these descriptions of chosen family make you think you would like people like this in your life? What hobbies/passions do you have that could be a source of these deep connections?

Go forth and find your people, your community, your family!

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